ilikeyourshirt

 I have always been one to believe that words are arbitrary and opinions are relative. A ball is a ball only because we say it’s a ”ball”, but when it’s flattened, is it still considered a ball? What makes up a ball and how can one say that something is a ball? Can a snob be a ball because it’s made of plastic? Can a politician be a ball because it’s round? Can gangstas be balls because they bounce? Notice how words can mean different things as well. To put things in the language of an academe, words and meanings do not exhibit what one would call a one-to-one relationship. So what is a word and how does it work?It doesn’t.Like time, words are only surfaces that provide humans a more convenient way of understanding things. The true meaning and relevance of a word lies in its depth. But since the least complicated and least ambiguous way of communication is through staying in the surface, we choose to let words define who we are to others  - and here lies the power of words.Normally, I would not care whatever word people would associate with me because, as I’ve said, words are arbitrary. Someone could call me “bad”, but mean otherwise; “you’re too good, you’re bad.” But since this is a course requirement and I would hate it if I failed english, I will not evade answering the question or try to turn it back on itself.I definitely hate being called a ”slut” - or its synonyms - in the context of our misshapen society.I remember this one time in highschool when someone called me “alpot”, the hiligaynon equivalent of ”whore”. If being called a ”whore” sounds bad, believe me, it’s sounds even worse when it’s in dialect. Yeah. And I remember spacing out and crying the rest of the day.Why would anyone call me that, you ask? It’s not because I dress like it, or talk like it, or smell like it, and especially not because I act like it. It’s just because I spend an awful lot of time with boys. No offense to you ladies, but guys are much much more fun to hang with. When I was in highschool, there was a time when some of my friends kept telling me to stay away from my guy friends because I look like a flirt. At first I tried to reason out, I tried to tell them how I look at those guys as my brothers, but they never listened so I eventually got tired and, fortunately, so did they.I have three older brothers you see, and no sister. When I was young, they let me play basketball with them and they pretended to be lousy amateurs just so I wouldn’t feel too bad because I suck at the sport. My brothers were quite fond of me and I really got used to hanging out with them. Highschool was a time of adjustment: my oldest brother went to Manila to work, my second brother got married (he was 26 that time), and my third brother had his friends and his life. I was left all alone and I needed people to fill in for my brothers. And that’s how I became a slut.Up until now, I still find guys more amusing and entertaining than girls; they just have so much humor in them it makes me think it’s innate. So far, I haven’t been called a slut, or whore or b*tch. Not yet. Maybe because provinces are different from theee city, or maybe not, or maybe I’ve just changed and became a total recluse. It doesn’t matter because if someone does call me a slut, I’ll know the reason why, and it’s not because I am a slut.As I said, words mean different things. To that person I may be a slut in the context of urban language, but to me, being a slut just means hanging out with guys because I know that aside from that, people have no reason to call me such, unless they really just want to piss me off or provoke me.And I don’t think I really have to put in much effort to avoid being called a slut. Seeing the way people dress and behave in the Ateneo, I don’t think I’ll have any problem (and we’re supposed to be a Jesuit school). Another reason why I’ll just do what is natural for me and not concern myself with hypocritical matters is my apathy towards what other people think. As long as I know I’m right and righteous, in my own context and in God’s, to hell with what they say. And to hell with them. :)-dawn